Small Town’s A Changing

My small town is changing mainly due to the influx of young professional couples attracted by the clean air, trees and meadows and long views of the Catskills to the west.  Attracted by no crime.  No sometimes violent beggars.  Attracted by the possibility of walking or safely riding a bicycle to your daughter’s school and popping in to have lunch with her, talk to her teacher.  Newcomers.   Friendly enough at first but very different.  Because as opposed to the locals always inclined towards reticence around someone they didn’t know – these newcomers are prone to prod and lecture.

Anybody and everybody.

Just recently one of these types not six months in town and using as many big words as he could berated the fire chief for his lack of community spirit.  Lecture a man about community spirit who had been rolling out of bed at two in the morning in all weathers to the aid of his neighbors for thirty-five years, who had given a year of Saturdays to rebuild the Community Center ten years ago, whose parents, grandparents and great grandparents were buried in town.

But even worse than that obnoxious propensity is that they are forever mouthing off about issues nobody local ever thought of and doesn’t pay any heed to – viewshed and anti-fracking, sunshine green building codes, play-dates for their dogs, tree endowments, encouraging creativity and something called “involved esteem” among the young, what young they have that is.  A long line of inane causes which by definition excludes the Second Amendment or shooting sports and so if one of them glimpses a pistol grip peeking out of your belt when you opened your jacket at the market they drop their bag of organic free-range eggplant, snatch up their kids, scream and run.  Often to dial 911 on that Smartphone they have permanently mounted in their ear.

And the women are worse.